Regardless of how blessed your life is and mine certainly is, you can venture into dark places. You can try to shake it it off but the cloud becomes a fog and it takes time to lift it. This summer, my oldest daughter is home from her freshman year of college with mixed success. Challenged with Aspergers Syndrome, she enjoyed independence and extra curricular activities but ignored all academic support systems. So we now are struggling with what her disability really means in the real world and her ability to navigate and manage it. So I am sad and very tired thinking with all that we have done. What have we really taught her to do and initiate. For the first few weeks she was back I was furious at her for squandering all she was given. I could hardly walk D, my faithful canine, and if I did I still felt exhausted.
D deserves better. Longer more cheerful walks. So slowly I am gearing back up. As I walk him longer and father I feel stronger. Walking off the frustration and gaining distance from the problem so we can think and find new ways to help her help herself.
D knows and seems to understand. Those of you devoted to your dogs know they can feel your moods and body’s highs and lows. But he persisted and patiently waited for me to make no more excuses. So we walked and he laughed and smiled and was on his best DINOS behavior.
So tomorrow I’m going with my younger daughter to her freshman college orientation. I have to focus on her. She is opposite to her sister as siblings often are. The magic of the walk has recharged me and she and I can enjoy all she has worked so hard to achieve. I need to work just as hard for her-just different.
The problems will still be there when we get back. But so will D 😊